a sEcOnD gO aT bLoGgiNg

Alright!

This is my first “official” post on wordpress. The first two were previously posted on livejournal, and I just moved them here a few minutes ago. Don’t ask me why I chose wordpress over livejournal. It’s just that most of my friends use wordpress, so I thought it might be a bit better than livejournal, but how should I know. I mean, really. I’m still new at this.

This is actually my second go at blogging. Like I said, I used to have an account on livejournal, which was pretty much useless, seeing that I only had like three posts on there. After that, I just got tired of doing it because I was not really the type to rant about my life (or anybody else’s for that matter) on the internet.

But all of that changed.

I met some interesting people over a month ago on some group on friendster (If you do not know what friendster is, it is the same as myspace, facebook, and cyworld). At first, I just wanted to join the group because they claimed to be the pride of the city I was born in (Davao City, Philippines). So I thought, “I’m proud to be from Davao. Why not join this and actually become part of the so-called “pride” of the city?” So that was what I did. Click click, and there! I became part of the Davao’s Pride group in a matter of seconds! (Funny what the internet can actually do to your social life in just two mouse clicks.)

When I met all those people from the group, usually the ones who are most frequently online, they kept on ushering me to start a blog.

“But what would I write about?” I asked. “Anything!” They said.
Wow, that helped a lot.

Then they told me to check their sites out, so I did. And as I was reading their posts, I said to myself, “Hey, maybe I can actually do this.” I have seen and read a lot of blogs from various kinds of people, and, to be honest, I felt really intimidated by how they wrote their entries. People wrote them in such a witty way that you’ll never expect such trivial matters to be so humorous. Plus, they usually had a theme. Like, for example, a blogsite dedicated to an artist or something like that. Bottom line is I have never come across a blogsite with so many topics to talk about, which I found in practically all of the DP (Davao Pride) members’ blog posts.

So that’s why I decided to just write about anything. Absolutely anything. Even if it is a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing or a consequence of insomnia or just a rant about an idiotic issue. If those guys can do it, then I can as well! I mean, they are even getting paid to do it!

The hell with that!

cAn’T sLeEp

(This was an old entry. I just reposted it.)

It’s quarter to 4am, and I can’t sleep. I can feel my eyes dropping down, but whenever I find myself on the bed, I just can’t fall asleep! I have absolutely no idea why, but I just stare around the dark room and think. Think what? I don’t really know… It’s like a mix of everything: my finals, home, my friends, school… So many things run in my mind for the last few hours, and I just can’t seem to fall asleep.

So I just decided to write on this thing. I’m not quite sure if I’m going to be able to sleep after all this, but I’m just hoping that it will help, in some twisted way.

Ok, so where do I start?

Right!

NUMBER ONE: In Canada, I have ZERO social life.

And I hate it.

I can’t really say that I was popular back home, but I did know a lot of people. It even came to a point that wherever I go (in school), I always end up greeting somebody along the hallway, always have someone to talk to, and even always have someone to borrow books or calculators from whenever I need some. I’m even shocked myself whenever I think about this because I was never a sociable person. I was more of the quiet and don’t-give-a-damn-to-the-world type who you’ll always find at the corner of the classroom either sleeping or just have a blank look on her face. But somehow, it worked for me. I still gained a lot of friends and even came off as a funny person to some people (I have absolutely no idea how this came to be).

But where I am right now, It doesn’t work. ABSOLUTELY… no effect.

My aloofness and standard sit-at-the-corner-of-the-room habit has gotten me nowhere in regards to my social life. I’ve been in Canada for over a year now, and unfortunately, I haven’t made any friends. Well, I have made some at work, but now that I’m NOT working and just concentrating on college, it’s pretty damn harsh. I feel so alone with no one to talk to. Even though I have some friends from work, I’ve never really spent that much time with them for us to be “friends.”

I know it sounds pretty shallow, I mean it does for me, but it’s the truth. I can’t even believe that I’m complaining about such a small thing. I just realized that I’m so used to not exerting any effort when it comes to my social life that when I found myself in an entirely different place, I was kind of… well, I guess… lonely. I’ve never felt so alone in my entire life, and that scares the crap out of me. I miss home uncontrollably (but not to the point that I’m on the verge of tears, thank God!), and I always end up daydreaming of how it would be if I was back home. I mean, I’m so homesick that I even did something that I would NEVER IMAGINE myself do: write a freaking blog about it!

Oh well!